DMV

Two hours of waiting in lines, waiting in chairs, waiting for my number to be called, waiting for my name to be called -- damn, and I did it all with a smile on my face and Anxiety pounding in my heart. Here I am, a goatee, 5 o'clock shadow, my guttural voice, and the form asks me the dreaded:

gender: male or female (circle one)

So I left it blank. The woman behind the counter said, "You have to fill everything out," and pointed at the box. I said, "Is it asking legally, do you want to know what I'm assigned legally?" She looked confused, and a little helpless, and pointed to the box again. She kind of nodded, but I'm not sure why; I took it to mean that yes, the box wanted to know what I "gender" I am legally. So I said, "Well, I'm still legally female," and I circled "female."

That seemed to go okay. Then I had to sit and wait. Then I was informed that my secondary ID wasn't approved. I had brought in my old license which had not yet expired, and a passport. So I had to go talk to the manager. The whole time I'm thinking to myself, we're going to have to call the ACLU. They're going to deny me my license AND they're going to keep my forms of ID and we're going to have to call in the ACLU. Do we have the number? Are they in the phone book?

But in fact, the manager okay'd my IDs, I paid my $24 (I know, it's cheap in VA), and I sat down. Then I got my picture taken -- I look vaguely sinister -- and minutes later I got my license. It looks boring, I miss my Massachusetts license.

But. Here on the license is a picture of me, goatee and all, and on the card is a tiny "F." And you know, that's as close as I can come right now to being out about my intersexual status (and I apologize to intersex people if you feel I am co-opting your identification). But as a transman, I feel that I am intersex. Most intersex people are born with genital development of both "female" and "male" organs, so it's visible on the outside. But I think I was born with my body being female and my insides being male, which makes my intersexuality invisible. But I am both. And it's actually kind of nice that my license reflects that.